Happy Thanksgiving or Not You Be The Judge

As you all know yesterday was thanksgiving, and I went to my girl's for thanksgiving. You see my daughters lost their mom eight years ago, and even though they are grown adults, they still don't feel thanksgiving.

They much rather prefer, christmas, and the lights. They enjoy Christmas more, for two reasons, their mom's favorite holiday was Christmas, and my roommate loves Christmas as well. I really dont like the holidays to much anymore. I do enjoy it for my grand daughters sake. She is eight years old, and keeps me on my toes, or you could say my damaged toes, and crippled body.

She always lights up the holidays, as bright as the Christmas lights, that shine every year around this time. But I have a confession, I was missing my daughters not being there for thanksgiving, and I was at Hope's parents home, which they made extremly comfortable.
Oh, I forgot to mention the fact they have been married for 60 years. So going there was supercool, especially when I didnt think I was going to have such a great time. I ate like a pig, and now look like a pig, and my feet are swollen and I can barely move.

But the highlight of the day, was Hope's neice coming with her new friend for thanksgiving dinner. Her friend was really nice, and this kid reminded me of my oldest daughter Cristi-ann, yes they do have names, the other two are Michelle-lee and Toni.

Jessica reminded me that love and innocence should last a lifetime, even if its only for a brief moment in time. I missed my wife, and children not celebrating the holidays, but Hope is someone who makes it all the more enjoyable because she has taught us all about how life is to short.

As I attempt to start writing blogs again, I am only reminded, that this day was inevitable, I have reached that age, when looking back I am proud that I wound up with three beautiful young daughters that I am truly proud of. I wouldnt trade them for the world.

So when I am with my daughters on Christmas and Hope and I watch Dayja (my grand daughter) open her presents from Santa, Yes she still believes just like her grandpa. This thanksgiving was not only contemplative to say the least, but it was a lesson, in love.

Survival of the fittest, yeah right.

How does one even begin to talk about survival of the fittest, when no one is actually fit these days. It seems there are to many diets telling you how you should feel and think. If only you were a size smaller, or a little leaner. So we try to make more bread, or dough in this case so we can join the fanciest of gyms. I myself destroyed what was left of my body a long time ago. Which in turn brought me to my own destruction so I wrote a book about my self abuse, in the form of addiction. I wrote to give others hope, but not this time around.

Hope is only a person that helped me to survive and continue to live, in order for me to be part of that elite mentality. Survival of the fittest wasnt what it was cracked up to be. The more I saw the reality shows, and the Jerry Springers tell on your neighbor show, and the search for weapons that were never found, I realized "Survival of the Fittest" was only a game of me me me. So who really cares except for the one doing the eating.

So now here I am creating a blog, what the hell is a blog anyway except a rant, so that I can survive the boredom I call life. So I write and continue to create characters in a world of make believe. I am an author, who has nothing to say. Unless you count blogging. This is the newer form of self deception. I can be in love with the idea that not everything is what it is cracked up to be but if I tell you about it I will feel better, and at the sametime get some feedback if I want it. Not.

So I come full circle in this mindless rant of surviving the fittest, or is it fitted. Well thanks for listening, we are waiting for the mindless drones in washington to blog themselves into oblivion all in the name of you said it. Survival of the fittest. Peace and One love from Red and blue sneakers.